Dear Huitzilopochti,
Well, it’s the holiday season again and I am fearing the Thanksgiving dinner table. My family is so annoying. All they do is bicker with each other. Do you have any advice on how to survive the stress of the holidays?
Exasperated in Eugene
Dear Exasperated. I used to have the same problem when our family got together to dine on the entrails of sacrificial virgins. My sister, Coyolxauhqui, was a real jerk, constantly flinging pieces of colon at me. Man, those are days I’d like to forget. Anyway, my advice is to sacrifice a few virgins and hope for the best. Then again, that’s pretty much my advice for everything. Happy Thanksgiving! –Huitzilopochti
