For your perusal, my six favorite gaming skillz to pay the billz.
6. Chainsawing in Gears of War
We’ll kick things off with the newest installment. Epic’s Gears of War is giant fun from beginning to end, but there’s nothing as satiating as sneaking up on an ususpecting enemy, firing up the chainsaw bayonet and carving the dude into ground chuck.
5. Red Shell Carnage in Mario Kart 64
Many nights of potential academic growth were squandered when we would fire up Mario Kart 64 for N64 in college. Balloon battles on the Big Donut was the shiznit, and ramming a heatseeking red shell up your opponent’s tailpipe was one of the sweetest maneuvers, especially if that opponent was Toad, the whiny little punk @#$%& who was just begging for it anyway.
4. Max’s Atomic Drop in Streets of Rage 2
Streets of Rage 2 remains my all-time favorite video game, mainly because playing as the hulking brute Max was so frickin’ fun. Out of his impressvie array of sprite-destroying wrestling moves, the Atomic Drop was the most righteous. It took some skill to pull it off, but it was devastating and the accompanying sound effect (a cross between someone pounding a railroad tie with a ball-peen hammer and glass breaking) never got old.
3. Interrupting the Blanka Roll with a Dragon Punch in Street Fighter 2
Now this one took timing, but the payoff was bliss. Easily the cheapest character in the original Street Fighter 2, Blanka could inflict massive damage on his enemies with the Blanka Roll, a horizontal spin attack that traversed the screen with deadly speed. However, a master of Ken or Ryu’s Dragon Punch, with a well-timed forward-down-forward-high-punch, could smoke Blanka in mid-roll, inflicting BIG pain and eliciting squeaky pre-pubescent gasps of amazement from the gathered spectators in the arcade.
2. Ninja Gaiden’s Izuna Drop
The baddest-ass move in the baddest-ass ninja game, the Izuna Drop in the much-lauded Ninja Gaiden for the Xbox is liquid glee. Slash, slash, three mid-air slashes, all followed by a brutal head-first spinning piledriver. Instant death. (Note: Doesn’t work as well on housecats.)
1. Super Dodgeball Concussion
The ultra-slow ball was fun and all, but, really, it’s all about the heat. Sending your 8-bit, big-headed athlete running to the midline, getting some sick air and then unleashing a fastball on one of the opposing team members is, hands-down, the most satsifying moment in all of video-gaming. Even better if it sends the dude soaring across the screen. Even betterer if it’s that loser, Knut.
